Nothing between us
by Right Hand Blue
Summary: Addison and Derek have been going to councelling for some time now, but when asked if they would consider a short separation, will they be able to go through with it? Addek, AU.
1. Chapter 1

I wasnt sure whether or not to post this story due to the fact that its been floating, finished on my computer since last year, but soon it was time (I felt) to allow it the room to grow...

But basically its Addek in marriage councelling in the span of a week-ish. More importantly, its AU so I'm not really sure of a time line for this story. Oh and even more importantly, councelling sessions blend with everyday life in the story and differentiate with the characters, but you'll would have figured that out anyways.

I don't own greys- let it be known.

* * *

"Have you both ever considered a short separation?"

The bickering couple looked up, their arguments hushed by the blunt question. They looked nervously at one another before they spoke, their tones now vulnerable to the new situation.

"Well…"

"It hasn't really crossed our minds…"

"Not really something we've ever thought about…"

"We couldn't comprehend how to do it…"

Each others sentences fell short before the room resumed its eerie silence. The counsellor spoke up once more.

"Well have you?"

They both shook their heads feebly.

"Look doc I thought you said we were making progress that we were finally getting to the root of our problems, Addison's infidelity"

She winced.

"And my falling in love with another woman has both been established to have caused us problems, and we've" he sighed "gotten past that"

The counsellor looked to Addison "Do you agree Mrs Shepherd?"

Addison nodded unable to answer; her voice she was sure, would sound foreign to her, weak, pathetic, and Addison did not like to sound pathetic.

It was the counsellor's turn to sigh "Look, its clear to me that in every session we have made progress."

The couple looked at her

"And even through the fighting and the arguments that have sprouted in our sessions, you are probably one of the most open couples I have ever had."

The receiving party gave matching small smiles.

"From what I know, you have both hurt each other very badly, you have both done things which you are probably not very proud of" she took off her glasses "but maybe it's the time away from each other that you need to gain insight into what you want or when worst comes to worst don't want from each other" she sat up straighter "in other words, see your relationship the way others see it and if you were those people you could see how your current situation could be…improved."

"So there could be a chance if we did this that we could or couldn't end up back together?" Derek asked.

"Precisely, but if you do decide to do this you can feel free to see me on separate sessions during the duration you decide to part and then one last session to give the decider on whether or not you can be Derek and Addison" the counsellor looked at the over head clock "well our session has gone over at least five minutes but I think there have been subjects left in the air which on behaving yourselves, you could discuss properly" she put her glasses back on and smiled at the couple "I guess I'll see you next week, that should be enough time to consider what you are planning to do"

Addison cleared her throat "See you next week." she left through the office door, Derek following silently behind her.

XXXXXX

"Well…goodnight."

"Yeah…goodnight." she switched off the lamp beside her; her glasses however were still on, the comforter reaching her waist as her fingers fiddled with its ragged ends. She didn't have to turn sideways to see that her husband was in the same position. His hands however, folded neatly beneath his head; clearly she had her thinking position and he had his.

"How did we get this far?"

She looked to him "Excuse me?"

"We used to be…we were…" he struggled

"Yeah I know" she took her glasses off before turning fully towards him. She studied his profile seeing him furrow then relax as he made the adjustment to mirror her pose.

"You don't think it would work do you? That we should really consider taking her advice..."

"Well we have a time to decide and if nothing else works then we could try…" she trailed off and they went back into silence.

They stayed there like that facing each other, Addison's eyes struggling to stay open whilst Derek's neck stiffened, his reluctance to turn around wavering. Silently he watched his wife of more than eleven years in front of him, her eyes fluttering shut as she finally gave into sleep, her mouth falling slightly open and her hair taking a life of its own as she moved about seeking warmth, her body inadvertently moving closer to him, something she hadn't done much of since she had moved out to Seattle.

Pulling the comforter from underneath her limp arms, he arranged it around her shoulders, smiling as he saw her sigh contentedly. Edging closer, he paused before putting his arm around her waist, watching for any discomfort from the extra weight on her stomach, but was relieved when he felt her legs tangle with his.

Only then did Derek fall asleep.

XXXXXX

The small trailer filled its morning quota of sunlight, streaming into the small crevices that hid in the exposed corners. Shifting around slightly Addison's eyes creaked open registering her daily surroundings before her body registered its extra weight. She shuffled around feeling Derek's arm slink off her before she crept towards the tiny bathroom and sat around the toilets rim, her stomach heaving with its contents of last night. When she was sure she was done, she stood up, her legs shaky as she braced most of her weight on the sink.

"I thought morning sickness was supposed to be over by the first month"

She jumped when she heard his voice "Um yeah I thought so too..." she fell silent.

"I'll make you some tea." he said walking to the small alcove that was their kitchen.

Turning on the shower, she adjusted the temperature before shedding her clothes, her hands grazing her stomach as she felt the beginning budge of her soon to be prominent belly. She sighed, being pregnant wasn't really the best option for her right now, but extremely drunken sex with Derek, she knew, had its consequences and even though they weren't really as close as man and wife should be, she was more than happy to pay for the penalty that came with three bottles of merlot and ironically tequila shots.

Stepping into the shower, she made sure that the lock clicked into place before finally allowing herself to relax underneath the hot spray, her hands wiping back the wet hairs that fell in front of her face. Closing her eyes she allowed the water to pummel her lightly, her once previous feeling of nausea was now gone and she even managed a weak hum to herself before a knock on the door startled her.

"Addison?" Derek knocked again "Addison?"

She called back out to him her tone a little frustrated "Yeah?"

"Your tea's ready."

"Thanks, I'll be out soon."

"Oh, ok" he moved away from the door and went back to the kitchen. Soon the door clicked open and Addison stepped out, her hair dripping onto her shoulders as she moved towards him accepting the tea.

"Thanks." she said before sipping it quietly.

He looked at her for a moment, his eyes appreciating the soft crinkle of her nose as she sipped at her tea. "Well I'll just go to the bathroom" he said brushing past her.

She nodded after him "Sure, ok"

"Right." he rapped his knuckle against the countertop "Right" he repeated before walking away.

XXXXXX

"So I um I have a surgery at 10 this morning but we can meet up at lunch?" he looked to his wife who was walking besides him towards the hospitals glass doors.

"Sure, that sounds nice." she smiled at him

He returned the smile, his hand tentatively taking hers feeling how the warmth of her fingers made his cold hand tingle in appreciation. Getting strange looks from surrounding staff they passed, they made their way over to the nurses station where they read their respective charts in silence.

"Hey Shep, Addison" Preston said walking up towards the couple.

"Preston hello." Addison smiled politely at her colleague.

"Why is it that you never say Derek? Always Shep or Shepard."

"I still don't like you enough." he replied smugly, enjoying the look he got out of Derek whenever he teased him like this.

"I've known you for how long now? And yet still its Dr Shepard." he pouted.

A pager beeped and all doctors looked down, the beeper belonging to Addison.

"Excuse me." she said before she left the two men standing alone.

Preston looked at her "Is something going on?" he looked back towards Derek.

"No" he sighed "no we're fine" he gave Preston a smile before his own pager beeped and left.

XXXXXXXXXX

"So tell me, how did you both meet?"

Addison toyed with the ends of her woollen scarf, plaiting the soft ends until she had one successful plait "He'd asked me out for coffee, I said yes"

"That it?"

She shrugged "It's the nicer version."

The counsellor sighed "Dr Shepard you have fifty five minutes left of an hour session, both you and I know I would be robbing you blind if we finished now."

Finishing her fourth plait she made eye contact "What do you want to know?"

"Well anything you're comfortable in telling me" she reclined, her clipboard flat against her thighs "we both took an oath of sorts, so there's nothing I can relay to anyone."

She sighed, brushing her hair out her face before she turned her attention back to the raggedy ends of her scarf "He was sleeping with my best friend before getting to know me."

"So not exactly a romantic beginning?"

She shrugged, then sighed realising there were two threads left making her sequence uneven "It depends on how you look at it, they weren't really seriously involved with each other, just two people who had sex to ease the tension" she unlaced her hand made ties "friends with benefits, and besides they had known each other long enough."

"I see."

Addison heard as she scribbled down something on her clipboard, before starting her plaits again, leaving two twists at each end so the pattern was remotely correct.

"So it bothered you? Them sleeping together then him taking a sudden interest?"

She shook her head "Like I said, they had known each other long enough, and anyways I was already involved with someone, I couldn't care what Derek Shepard did, or why he began looking at me differently."

"Differently?"

"Like he was always speculating something." She sipped on her bottled water which she had kept loosely screwed by her leg "He'd always ask me questions, come out with me and my friend quite often, till the point when we became a threesome and his company was less annoying."

"Even though he had motives?"

"Exactly."

"Hmm" another scribble and she continued "So tell me, this other relationship at the time, how long did that go on for?"

"Three years give or take."

"And would you say you loved him?"

"He was a nice guy, wanted to be a lawyer."

"So that's a no?"

"I guess, I mean he was great, we had good conversations, fun times together" she stopped plaiting and began to fiddle with the ends instead "he was the guy he wanted to be married before he was thirty with the trophy wife and the beautiful children, he was a catch."

"But just not your catch?"

"No."

"Ok then" she wrote what Addison could tell was a sizable paragraph before she continued talking "so this separation suggestion, any plans to go through with it or have you both missed the idea?"

She looked out the window, seeing the beginnings of a light shower "We talked about colours, for the baby's room"

"Yeah?"

She nodded "So how am I supposed to know what he wants, when all he does is talk about pink or blue?"

XXXXXXXX

* * *

I like the councellor, because she never has a name...she's like a tin with no label! Ooh!

Review if you liked it, I'm flu-ey and every review goes to my better health *cough*


	2. Chapter 2

Thanks for the reviews, if i get more, it means a free pair of ghd's or some pancakes.

Tbh I want the pancakes more. *Sigh, I really really do.

I dont own greys

* * *

The next morning began just as the other one prior. She would wake up first, go through her bout of morning sickness then hear Derek turn on the kettle and fix her some tea as she showered. Then, as if practiced, he would leave her and shower himself making their total conversation time with each other a good seven and a half minutes, excluding work, sessions and the evenings; although she was sometimes already fast asleep when he came in.

"So I have a scan later today."

He put down his cup of coffee "Ok. What time do you want me to be there?"

"Well the appointment's at three."

"I'll meet you 2:50."

"Great."

He sipped at his coffee once more then put the cup down "Are we going to learn the baby's sex? Or is that a surprise?"

She shrugged "How do you feel on the situation?"

"I guess maybe not now, when we're more eager."

"Explain."

He looked her square in the eye "It just doesn't bother me right now."

"Ok" she brushed her skirt down "I'll see you at work, don't forget your appointment later today."

"Are we still meeting for lunch?"

She shook her head "No, my only time slot is the scan, then after its just patients and surgeries."

"Want me to buy you anything cravewise?"

She shook her head once more "If it comes up I'll page you"

"Good, I'll see you at work, good luck on the surgeries."

"You too." she said before she closed the trailer door shut.

XXXXXXX

"I don't even see her naked any more" Derek shifted in the chair "Its like we're two people having a baby who live in a trailer and that's it. I mean we don't even argue that much."

"Isn't that what was part of the problem? The arguing?"

"Yes, but it meant we were fighting, we were actually being ourselves, now its just like she lets things slide."

"Slide? How do you mean?"

He sighed "Well this morning, she told me she had a scan I asked if we were going to learn the sex of the baby and she just wondered what I wanted to do."

"What did you want to do?"

"I said it didn't bother me that much, but we could wait till later, and she just sort of stood there and took it."

"Hmm." she wrote down something then looked back at Derek "Ok so you were saying you don't see her naked, I'm guessing you're sex life has been on the rocks lately?"

He snorted "Or non existent." he sat forward a little "She changes while I shower and is usually asleep when I get in."

"So you want to be more intimate with Addison?"

"Yes. No. Yes." he leaned back "I just wouldn't know how to go about it if I did."

"I see." she scribbled some more "Can I just quickly ask, how often do you both talk to each other?"

"Not long, couple of minutes in the morning, maybe we have a lunch together sometimes."

"Ok so wouldn't it be easier just to tell her these things? Sit her down or wake her up just to talk? From the way you put it the very little car journeys you both might take are silent, so why not utilise that time, seize it and make it yours."

"And say what?"

"Anything you like." she pushed her glasses further up the bridge of her nose "Tell her you miss hearing her voice sometimes, that you miss her and the closeness you once shared."

"So she could just look at me and just kinda say ok?"

"Hmm. Tell me Derek, do you feel as if you're…somewhat always being judged by Addison?"

"Well that's how its always been hasn't it?" he sighed "From the moment I met her it was non stop speculation, I guess I felt I deserved it because I was sleeping with her friend and then all of a sudden looking at her differently."

"Why did you start to look at her differently?"

He shrugged "I dunno I guess she just kinda got to me. I remember she used to be really funny, always making comments that she thought nobody heard until I started to listen, always tucking her hair behind her ear, or brushing it out of her face before I gave her an elastic band…I guess it got to her?"

"I guess, only Addison can tell you that if you really want to know. From what I can make of it Addison only does something drastic when some things not going to plan."

"So that's why she slept with Mark?"

"If you really want to see it that way then you can, but Addison was in a relationship at the time, and in speculating if you were the drastic good she ended three years and began to love you."

He stayed silent, looked out the window fleetingly then turned back "I was indifferent, I'll see it that way, makes it easier to deal with."

XXXXXX

"Hey, I got you something" he said announcing his presence as he moved closer to the gurney she was sitting on, the hallway somewhat empty as nurses moved in and out of rooms.

She looked at him as he handed her a meatball sub. Smiling gratefully she unwrapped, and tucked into it heartily "Thanks" she said muffled by the food in her mouth.

He nodded "How was your day?"

Swallowing she turned to him "Good thanks, my feet are killing me but I'm ok."

He looked down to see that she was wearing her crocs, her hand resting on her belly gently as she slowly devoured her sub.

"Been busy yourself?" she asked him before taking another bite.

"Huh? Oh, not really most of my surgeries were pushed back, I can leave after the scan."

"Ok" she scrunched up the foil paper and waited. He saw her jump a little and then settle back happy with her small release of gas.

Briefly he looked at his watch "We have five minutes."

She nodded and slid of the gurney carefully, brushing down her skirt and fixing her appearance. Together they walked to the office of the other OB.

"So Addison, how are you feeling today?"

"Fine, nothing unusual."

"Good good, still having morning sickness I hear?"

"Yeah." she scooted onto the gurney.

"Well we can be hopeful."

"Mhmm."

"Ok so if you lie back I can start."

Complying she laid back and rolled up her top also, eager to get things started. Mesmerized, Derek looked down at his wife's bare stomach, watched at how the smooth mound rose and fell just slightly with every breath she took.

"This is going to be cold"

Ghe gasped when the gel his her stomach, the wand pressing lightly until a grainy image came up on the screen; she didn't need any help with identifying her baby, she was its mother, not to mention the countries best, and it took no time at all to see the sex.

"You know don't you?"

She turned to look at him "Its hard not to look, I can tell you if you want?"

He shook his head "No, not yet."

"Ok" she turned back to the screen, his sigh making the hairs on her skin rise.

XXXXXX

"We have twenty more minutes Derek, for the last five you haven't said anything, what are you thinking?"

"As of this moment? Or the last five minutes?"

"It's up to you."

"Is it weird that I'm not excited about this pregnancy?"

"We all have our reasons."

"Well its not that I'm not excited...I mean there are men becoming fathers as we speak, why am I any different?"

"True" the counsellor fell silent, searching for her next answer then spoke again "If things were different, the whole slate was completely clean and this was still your first baby together, you're saying you still wouldn't feel anything?"

"I don't know." he twisted in the chair "There's such a selfishness factor of pregnancy don't you think?"

"Really? Care to elaborate?"

"Its just that she gets to know everything, do everything, eat anything and I'm on the outside looking in on what should be a shared occasion for us."

"Did you try the talking?"

He looked grim "That lasted only a few minutes, and it was about work." he rubbed at his face "I think the only time where we aren't talking but somehow connected is when we sleep." he smiled softly "We always end up cuddling, I watch her before she nods off and then…" he trailed off.

"I don't think that seems like the outside looking in."

"I suppose, but the feeling will ease up, it always does with me and her."

* * *

Ahhh that took ages to dot every i and cross every t.

Oh any suggestions with when I should update? I'm thinking every two days or something...depends how my manga obsession goes to plan.

Review, and I'll recommend you the greatest story ever told! (Be prepared to read right to left)


	3. Chapter 3

Thanks for the reviews for last time! This chapter is probably more filler than anything, but its important, and its not important.

You see. My logic is undeniable.

I dont own greys, nor the iRobot quote I just used.

* * *

De ja vu slowly began to ebb at Addison and Derek's nerves, with every morning seemingly fitting and melding into the same one over and over. The tea, the vomiting, the same way the birds seemed to always chirp didn't help situations progress as they ought to, conversations now dead as they got ready for work in silence.

XXXXXXXX

"I always liked the pink power ranger, whenever I would go to Derek's mothers house in the holidays, drop off presents and stuff, Derek's niece would always make me the pink and she would be the yellow." she sighed "I guess pink would be non traditional for a boy."

"So you found out the sex of the baby?"

She chuckled "Exactly, _I_" she stressed the syllable "I found out the sex of the baby."

"Congratulations."

"Thanks"

"You didn't want Derek to know?"

"I asked he said no."

"Hmm." she wrote something down "Has Derek been involved much with the pregnancy?"

She shrugged "He makes me tea in the morning and we cuddle at night for that few hours before reality sets in and we really aren't that happy."

"You're not happy?"

"I'm more…content and putting up with it."

"I see." she scribbled some more "What is reality?"

"We wake up, we go to work, then we come home. Either one of us makes dinner, then we go to bed."

XXXXXXX

"Hey, I got you something."

Addison looked at Callie curiously "Oh yeah?"

"Yep!" she thrust a black bag in Addison's direction then sat down opposite her and took one of her fries.

Looking down, she reached into bag and pulled out a silky mass "What is it?"

"Open it out."

Shaking it lightly, the material fell straight, leaving her with a slip in her hands.

"Surprise! It's a pregnancy slip, I bought it off the internet at some lingerie site for expecting mummies!" she squealed as she finished the sentence.

Addison sat there speechless, letting the silk run through her fingers, staring at the detailing of the lace which had been artfully sewn at the place where her chest was supposed to be, imagining the sheer seduction the wearer would exude. She would have looked great in it.

"You don't like it do you?" she shrugged "Oh well I'll keep it, loose fit but whatever. It'll work."

"No, thanks its really really..." she looked over the nightgown again "Something, and I love it I, do! But there wont be a occasion to wear it." she folded it up and put it in the bag again "Thanks anyways."

"Ok…why cant you wear it? I bought it for that purpose, seems a little strange don't you think?"

"Yeah, but Derek and I haven't been intimate since I got pregnant, it wouldn't see daylight."

"Addison." Callie sighed "I bought it for you, not Derek, half the time I'm naked when you call me on the phone, what's to say you can wear it just to feel good?" she shook her head "Poor Addison defining her life by yet another man."

"I'm not." she lowered her voice "Callie, I just feel a baby needs a dad in its life, and we are making it work, just..." she sighed "Very slowly but its getting there."

XXXXXXX

"What do you like about Derek, Addison?"

She shrugged "I love my husband, if I liked him there would be no reason to this marriage."

"Ok so what do you love about Derek?"

"I love his hair."

"His hair?"

"Yeah its just sort of…right, I mean its constantly messy but neatly so." she pulled down her blouse "And there's something so arrogant about him that its charming, like whenever he gets angry, I cant take him seriously, its kinda…endearing."

"So you're saying you like the fights?"

"I did, it meant we cared, but now I just let him get what he wants." she kicked out her legs "You know Callie bought me some pregnancy lingerie and I dunno what to do with it, because me and my husband don't have sex, any ideas?"

"On how to have sex with your husband?"

"No, on what I should do with the lingerie, she said to wear it by myself and to stop dictating my life by a man, but I wanted a expensive professional opinion."

"Addison."

"Yes?"

"We ran out of time."

XXXXXX

She was still sitting on her bed, thinking of the best way to use Callie's present. She wasn't much of a seamstress, that was for sure, or she'd make something, anything else out of the material that was taunting her from the bag underneath her bed. The trailer door opened and she looked at Derek's dripping figure before averting her eyes back to her book. He shed his coat and slung it onto the tiny table where they ate, stretching to pull a towel out from the bathroom and mat his wet hair. Her book was becoming a blur of words, and soon her attention was directed sneakily at her husband as he walked up and down the small space in various states of undress. She shook her head slightly and looked back down at her book.

"Addison?"

"Hmm?"

"Where are my t-shirts?"

"Dirty, the laundry has been piling up, I'll do it tomorrow if I have the time."

"Oh." he sat down on his side of the bed, his back towards her as he pulled off his socks, then slid into bed in nothing but his boxer shorts "Finshed?"

In truth she hadn't even started "Yep." she reached beside her and turned off the lamp, sliding down then stretching to put the book back on the little table then turning to face him.

"Good night."

"Ok." she squeaked, when she felt his arm tentatively wrap around her waist, her heartbeat slightly more elevated than before "Night."

* * *

Dont you just hate that they same some of the same things, but they dont even communicate that well?

It's all part of the plan *bwah ha ha ha ha*

Review, and if its you're birthday I'll give you the alternate ending.

Mind you I do need proof.

Review...with proof...of you're birthday...Review


	4. Chapter 4

Thanks for the reviews! Always apreciated :D

However, now I'm very sceptical about the upcoming chapters, including this one. Its all good and stuff, just I'm more in love with some specific parts than others. *Sigh*

Oh the woe!

I do not own greys

* * *

That morning provided some surprises for Derek. For one thing Addison was still in bed, her arm crooked around his neck so that her fingers could tangle in his hair. She was asleep, but he could feel her plucking lightly, twisting the black strands through her fingers. He could smell the mint on her breath suggesting that she had probably gone through her morning sickness already and had brushed her teeth to get rid of the horrible taste. Blinking his eyes into focus he looked down at her, through her spayed red hair across his chest, seeing that she was smiling slightly, noticing that she sighed whenever he took in a large breath of air, which had mixed with her perfume.

Stretching slightly, he froze when she curled into him, her hand de-tangling from his hair to rest above where his heart beat. This was definitely different. It was…awkwardly nice if that was even a phrase to be used in this situation, it fitted.

Suddenly, she turned away from him, going to her side of the bed and immediately beginning to fuss when he guessed she couldn't feel him near.

"Then why did you do it?" he grumbled, before he reached over and cuddled close to her, happy and surprised to see that she had stopped fussing.

XXXXXX

"I'm guessing you had the sex chat?"

Derek rolled his eyes "A man can have other reasons to smile."

"Yes" she shrugged "But you were frustrated that you hadn't been intimate with Addison, so sue me for making links."

He chuckled "No, I didn't have sex."

"Ok…so what did happen?"

"I made some realisations."

She motioned for him to continue.

"Well-" he shifted his chair "I know that she needs me." he struggled to explain "Its like she normally puts a stubborn lid on things, but I guess we both know that we gravitate towards each other because we want to…on some very deep, deep level."

"Is this relating to the nocturnal Addison?" she flicked back through her notes "You've described some cuddling before?"

He smiled again "Its different than it was last time, she fusses this time, like she hates it if she doesn't know someone is there with her."

"Hmm" she wrote on her notes then looked up when she was finished "Tell me Derek, because of this new reaction, do you feel the pregnancy is still selfish?"

He looked thoughtful "No."

"No?"

"No." he cracked his knuckles briefly "It got promoted to scary."

XXXXXXX

"Hey." he said, throwing down his keys into the little dish by the sink.

"Hi, how was your day?"

"Good thanks." he looked at her, noting the concentrated look on her face, her hands cradling her belly "Addison? Are you ok?"

"Huh?" she looked up "Yeah I'm fine, just seeing something."

"Care to share?"

She sighed then dropped her hands from her stomach, flopping backwards on the bed carefully "Three hours. I've been sat here for three hours trying to feel something." she looked up at him "The baby kicked earlier."

"Really?"

She smiled "Yeah." she lay back down, sighing as she replaced her hands back onto her belly.

Shedding his jacket, he began to share himself dinner then ate at the small table when it was sufficiently heated "The baby will kick again, just be patient I guess."

"I guess." she sat up and began taking unbuttoning her blouse, his view obstructed by the closet door she had now opened. When it had closed, she was already in her night gown "I'm sorry you missed it though, it would have been nice." she sniffed at her skin "I'm going to go shower now."

He nodded "Don't worry it'll happen again."

She rubbed at her stomach, nodded then closed the bathroom door behind her, the spray of the water loud enough for Derek to hear through the thin door, then the undertones of her tuneless humming as she washed her hair.

Nearing the end of his meal, he heard the shower stop abruptly, then he waited hearing her sudden gasp.

"Addison?!" he dropped his fork and went to stand by the door "Addison what's wrong?" he heard her shuffle inside before the door knob turned beneath him and she stood in her towel "Addie…"

She put her hand up, hushing him, then rotated her hips, gasping again when she felt a thump "The baby's kicking!"

"What?" he looked at her dumbly.

Rolling her eyes, she pulled him towards their bedroom, inviting him to sit with her.

"Wait a second." she began swivelling her hips, making the mattress shift as she did so "Are your hands warm?"

He flexed the fingers, "They're ok."

"Good." she took his hand, then shifting some of the thick terry cloth out of the way, then she bared her stomach and placed his hand on her rounded tummy "Any minute now." she breathed, concentration across her features as if she was trying to urge the baby to kick.

They sat there for about five minutes, her hips shifting back and forth hoping that she was shifting the baby. He let out a huge yawn, switching hands and rotating the wrist of the one that had been on duty, when she stilled.

"Addi-" he stopped, looking down at his hand, his eyes widened. There was a soft thump, followed by another, then another until finally came the hardest kick of all causing his hand to jump slightly.

"Ow." she frowned.

Derek rubbed the spot slowly, then felt more slow thumps softer this time, almost remorseful "I guess baby's sorry."

She nodded then rubbed at her arms "I need to get dressed."

"Oh right." he stood up "I'll give you some privacy." he said, walking to the kitchen nook and emptying the remains of his dinner in the bin.

XXXXXX

She was always running. This bit, this bit he could handle. He could handle the running; the running in all essence was fine. In fact he liked the running, it was understandable and it meant she was safer for at least another couple of minutes.

Then it began to change. The greens and browns vanished, the animal sounds disappeared but they were still running. Running on a wide dirt track, their footsteps scuffled along out of sync and their breathing became laboured, heavier as they both ran faster. At this point he always tried calling to her, shouting, screaming, bawling till his throat was raw. Then she stopped. He could see how close to the edge she was and by now it would take nothing just for her to jump. He always began pleading with her then, holding out his arms, kneeling on the floor, begging her not to walk any further and then she would turn to him and smile, smile to say that she would be ok, that she didn't need him anymore, and before he could grab her, she'd jump, her red hair flailing behind her as he scrambled to look over the edge.

"Derek!"

He woke up, adjusting to the darkness, before he turned his head slowly and looked at her, her eyes large with worry.

"What happened?"

He frowned at her question "I…I dunno."

She nodded, then pulled the covers back going over to the kitchen and filling a glass up with water, taking a few sips herself before she handed it to him. He sat up and took the glass from her, watching as she ambled away to the bathroom to pee. She came back as he set the glass on the small table next to him, crawling into the covers once more, lying flat on her back.

"We don't have to talk about it."

He bobbed in response, then she turned, allowing him to pull her close, a solitary kick against his hand.

* * *

The kicking was such a bonding moment then WHAM! She needs to get dressed, and he's going to give her some privacy.

I honestly don't know.

With every review I will respond personally, so Review!

Unless you really don't want this relationship to work.

*Whispers* review!


	5. Chapter 5

Thanks for the reviews last chapter!

Just realised, this isnt as smutty as I thought it was...the next one is more intense and then the one after, but this is like the longest chapter :

Uh oh spaggheti-o', it seems Ive dropped the ball on this one.

I dont own greys.

* * *

"I'm…" she looked at the counsellor and minded her words "Somewhat sexually attracted to Derek."

"I don't understand."

She shifted uncomfortably "I mean more so than necessary." her foot bounced up and down nervously "He's just so…insatiably attractive, no." she shook her head "That's not it." her fingers came to her mouth, her teeth grinding against her nails before she pulled them out "It's like he's some sort of siren song." she licked her lips then crossed her ankles "Some masculine, adonis of a siren song."

"It's natural Addison, your hormones are all over the place."

She shook her head, a look of distress across her face "No, they aren't, they are on my husband and my husband isn't on me." she flopped back in her chair "I wish he was on me." she pouted.

"Have you initiated anything to say that you're sexually frustrated? And maybe..." she made vague hand gestures "You want some sort of satisfaction?"

"So he could just look at me and just say ok?" she snorted, uncrossed then re-crossed her ankles "I'll take up needle point or something."

The counsellor chuckled.

"And there's some sort of tell-tale heart thing going on." she sat up straight "The lingerie I shoved underneath my bed keeps calling at me and I think to myself 'what would Derek do if he actually caught me in this? Would he really ravish me?'" she paused "But then there goes all that stuff about defining my life by a man."

She flipped her notes "Callie said this?"

Addison nodded glumly.

She raised her brows "I see." she let the paper flutter back to its horizontal position against the clipboard "Addison?"

"Yes?"

"Ignore Callie, whatever you do, just ignore her when it comes to relationship advice."

She frowned "Ok…but why?"

The councillor minded her words, then spoke "Because Callie is not going to be in the room when Derek, and I quote 'ravishes' you" she leaned forward "Unless that's your thing."

Addison giggled nervously, and the counsellor raised her eyebrows.

"No!" her mouth fell "We don't even have sex let alone have other people to watch."

"Relax Addison, I wasn't suggesting anything." she sighed "Just have sex with your husband, make a night of it."

XXXXXX

She was pacing, pacing hard, her eyes focused on the barely there negligee spread out on the bed. Truthfully, it wasn't as bad as she made out; it was just some very expensive, maybe a little bit revealing, nightwear. Snatching the fabric off the bed, she stomped to the bathroom and changed slowly, reluctant to move the process of dressing herself any faster before an impatient kick moved against her stomach.

She sighed then moved into the bedroom and opened the right hand side of the closet door, looking at the mirror that was inside, with the closet door effectively sealing her in the bedroom. Ruffling her hair, she took a good look at her appearance, forcing her smile off her face. The black material was like a second skin, it was shorter than she expected, but after all the intent wouldn't be for practicality. There were provocative slits up the lace hem, and when she turned to look at the back, she realised the material stretched on for about another two inches, barely covering her backside.

She heard the door open on her eighteenth rotation in the mirror, then her husband enter the trailer. She swore under her breath.

"Addison?"

"Yeah?" she struggled out of the slip, hurrying as best she could to get the material over her head.

Derek looked at the closet door curiously, wondering why the trailer was suddenly split in half "Are you ok in there?"

"Yeah everything is just fine." she threw the slip onto the bed then searched for her robe, tying the belt securely "Uh how was your day?" she asked, bending, with a little difficulty,to get the black bag to shove the lingerie into.

"Good, managed to do a very difficult surgery with a good outlook for my patient."

"The Foley case?"

"Yeah." he began washing his hands in the sink, his neck craned back to see through the tiny slit between the cupboard door and the wood panelling. She was moving around the room for something.

She shoved the bag hastily under the bed then swung the closet door to face him.

"You look…busy."

She nodded "Uh huh, just tidying up!"

He looked past her and at the bed, still untidy from that morning "I see..." he said, noticing she was jumpy.

"Well I'm going to shower!" she said, moving quickly and retreating in the small cubicle.

Punching in the seconds on the microwave, he let the machine hum then listened out for the shower, which turned on quickly. Counting for at least ten Mississippi's he walked past the shower door quickly and went into the bedroom, looking back to see if anything had changed.

Making a sweep over the room, he took various peaks into drawers, rummaging around especially into her bedside drawer, and then inspected the closet, moving their clothes out the way and making sure not to disrupt the carefully aligned shoes she memorised off by heart in their position. Sighing, and unhappy without any results, he flopped onto the bed, hearing a papery rustle against the sheets. Rolling over, he looked over the side of the bed, pulling at the fancy handles of what appeared to be a boutique bag hastily hidden.

Checking the rest of the trailer, he sat on the bed and dug out the material, throwing the bag behind him on the bed. Shaking out the flimsy night dress, his mouth fell open.

It was a bit conservative, considering he and Addison been really wild when they began their relationship, but it was pretty enough. She'd look really nice. Hot in fact. He shook his head; she'd look beautiful, hot seemed immature. He could hear the shower stop, and he folded the material in his arms, waiting for her at the end of the bed.

Addison sighed, breathing in the cool air away from the steamy shower. Even though she hated to admit it, she had developed a habit of waddling. Her face fell when she saw Derek, her eyes darting to the black material to his hands.

"I…I didn't mean anything by it!" she began babbling, wondering why she had begun to explain herself. She'd take that up with their doctor next session. "Its just that Callie thought it would be a nice thought and…"

"You should wear it." he cut across her.

"I…" she looked at him "What?"

He shrugged "Try it on." he held it out for her, shaking it slightly when she didn't come forward immediately.

"I guess I'll go change." she began, she shuddered 'waddling', towards the bathroom but he stopped her.

"You stay, I'll go eat." he looked at her, something suggestive in his eyes "Take as long as you want."

She nodded and he opened the closer door behind him, giving her some privacy.

XXXXXXX

"I'm finished" she called somewhat fifteen minutes later. She was standing on her side of the bedroom, unable to do anything that didn't make her feel somewhat foolish as he came into the room.

"Oh wow..." he cleared his throat "I mean you look really…" he got distracted, too busy taking in her entire appearance, the heaviness of her cleavage and the straps that seemed to struggle to support her as well as the length of her legs and the material that barely covered them.

She nodded "At least the colour makes me look smaller right?" she laughed nervously to herself. She eyed him uneasily "Derek? You're ok right? I mean you haven't said anything since you saw me and I don't really mean anything by this, it not about…" she sighed "We don't have to have sex."

"Why not?"

She stared at him wide eyed. "Because-" she started before she cupped her hand to her mouth then ran the short distance to the bathroom, retching into the toilet bowl. When her short interlude had finished, she leaned over the sink and washed her mouth out thoroughly.

"Nervous?"

She nodded, "Something like that." and wiped her mouth on the back of the hand then followed him, sitting on the bed next to him when he invited her.

He took the hand that was limp against her thigh and enveloped it between both his "There's a lot more we need to be saying to each other, starting with..." he twitched a little bit "Our sex life." he looked at her gauging her reaction and continued when she was still the same "We should probably try and work on things, get back on the wagon…something like that."

She grabbed his hand, turning herself to face him more fully "Derek, I understand. But now I'm going to need you to kiss me, seeing as for the past couple of days I've wanted nothing more than to tangle my fingers in your hair."

He watched the smile spread across her face, before he leaned in and kissed her lightly.

XXXXXX

"I've got a confession to make."

"Really?"

Derek looked nervous "I've been holding back."

"How so?" she leaned forward "Sexually? Emotionally?"

"Psychologically, and in the sessions we have."

"Then why exactly are you paying me?"

"Just so I know my problems sound normal I guess."

"And to hear that you and Addison are somewhat the most progressive couple here?"

"Somewhat?"

"I have another couple." she made a vague motion with her hand "They are closer to complete reconciliation lets say."

"I see."

XXXXXX

Her breathing was hard, and her heartbeat was going so fast her ears seemed to hum from the rapid flow of blood in her veins. Her eyes were closed, but she could feel him staring at her, his hands slowly going up and down her sides as she rocked back and forth above him.

XXXXXX

"She's running." he sighed "She's running away from me I think, and I'm always running behind her, trying to catch her but she just keeps running, never looking back at me." he sat up in the chair, his hands making motions as he continued to talk "And then the scenery changes to some dirt road that's like the size of a freeway and there's a drop, like a sheer drop, and we both knows its there but we keep running." He ran his hand through his hair nervously "And then she stops."

"Stops?"

"Yeah, only to smile at me, and even though I cant hear her I kinda guess she's saying she'll be fine, that she's ok that I don't need to be there." he shrugged then sat back "And she turns around and drops, while I look over the edge confused as ever."

The counsellor paused, chewing over her pen as she looked absently at her clipboard. It was quiet in the room for another ten minutes before she finally spoke "Anxiety."

"Anxiety?"

She nodded "Anxiety." she stated.

XXXXXX

He ignored how painfully her fingernails were dug into his back, as he continued to move above her. She allowed him total control, and it was more than power that surged through his veins. Greed, lust, pleasure, pain, pride, even fear lined up behind love. The love he had when she would gasp or murmur something he couldn't quite hear, or when she would look up unwaveringly into his eyes, smiling slightly or even when she pulled a little too hard on his hair causing him to wince.

However, when she looked up at him and cheekily whispered "Multiples." he felt his heart burst and pride took first place.

XXXXXXX

"So you're saying I'm scared of being alone?"

"Well from the dream it seems that way yes. Almost however hard you try to...reach Addison she inevitably falls."

"I love Addison." he shifted uncomfortably "I would never try and hurt her."

"No one is doubting that you would Derek." she cleared her throat "We could look at the dream differently, almost like its saying that you want her to leave you, you want her to run away because being with you isn't in her best interests."

"So your saying Addison shouldn't be with me?"

She shook her head "I'm saying that-" she sighed "I'm saying that your both very lucky to have found the other half even if there are self destructive tendencies."

XXXXXXX

She lay on her back, breathing slowly in and out as she heard him rustle around in the kitchen for something she could eat. Her left breast was exposed after he had ripped the strap and the splits at her sides stretched higher than intended so that it came up to bare her hips as well. Her heart beat had slowed so that she could no longer hear that wonderful hum, but her body was still glowing, still tingling from session after session of love making.

"Tired?" Derek loomed over her suddenly presenting her with a glass of apple juice.

She sat up, carefully, then took the glass from him "No" she smiled before she sipped at her drink.

"Good." he walked over to his side of the bed, twisting and cracking his back.

She put down the glass as he got beside her and turned to kiss him. His mouth moved from hers and trailed her neck as she tangled her fingers in his hair once more.

"Wait, this isn't working." she pulled back.

"What do you mean? I thought it was what you wanted-"

"I do!" she cut across him "Just let me take this off first." she slipped out of the ruined material then got into the bed with him, her hand stroking his cheek sadly "Derek we're working on this aren't we?"

He nodded, his eyes unable to meet hers, a little embarrassed at jumping to conclusions.

She smiled at him and let her hand trailed over his abdomen seductively "Then let's work on this."

* * *

So who will adopt a humphrey? --- :

Review!  
Review!  
Review!


	6. Chapter 6

Thanks for the reviews!

I guess there is no time like the present to update this fic and get the show on the road! *Honk Honk*

Oh and this is the smutty chapter...with minimal councellor :(

I do not own greys.

* * *

"No...Derek we'll be late...and I have to...do something..."

"Work?" he suggested before sucked at her neck once more, his hands roaming all over her body, her stomach, her breasts, the insides of her thighs before he would get closer to where she would fall apart if he touched her and pull back.

"Yeah...work..." she scooted closer to him, wiggling her hips impatiently. His legs were either side of her so that they sat, his back against the headboard and hers against his chest, where he could do anything he wanted with her.

"I think Richard will understand." he kissed at her shoulder, lifting her arm so that he could kiss his way down it, then wrapping it behind her so that it curled around his neck, her fingers curling the light hairs half heartedly.

"We have to...stop." she went to push at his hands, only to find herself encouraging him, stroking his knuckles as he stroked her.

"Stop? But why?" he dipped his fingers into her, touching her, manipulating her so that her head fell back onto his shoulder, defeated, tired of pleading.

"Because..."

"Addison give up." he coaxed.

She shook her head "No..." arching her back away from him before she slumped back against him once more, her legs kicking out against the tangled sheets.

"Please?" he asked, evidently enjoying himself.

She cried out, then stopped herself "_No!_"

He rolled his eyes, torturing her relentlessly "You're not making this any fun."

"I have to work." she said, gritting her teeth.

"You can, just after I'm finished with you, then you can go play happy doctor." he smiled.

She grunted, then dug her fingers into his thighs, letting out an animalistic wail as she arched away from him, shaking all over. Groaning, she leant back on him once more, too tired or weak to support herself.

"That's all I ask." he kissed her on the cheek, rubbing at her stomach out of habit.

"You don't ask nicely" she said breathlessly, still adamant to say something.

"Would I have gotten as far with you if I did?" he asked smugly.

She gave a weak smile "I guess not."

Grinning himself, he motioned for her to lay on her side, knowing that she was unable to resist in her tired state. When he positioned her how he wanted, he lay behind her and spooned her close, kissing her shoulder and rubbing her thighs.

"Derek. We. Have. To. Work" she stated, hoping he would give up this relentless torture on her body.

"I'm hearing you, but we have another..." he looked at the clock briefly "Hour forty five minutes before we have to make an appearance."

"But it takes me longer to get dressed. I'm getting huge!" her eyes closed, and she cursed herself for being so weak willed.

"You aren't getting huge." he spoke in between the kisses he was caressing her with "You're pregnant, by me, with our child." his hand came to rest on her stomach, delighted when he heard her gasp "I'd say that was more than being huge?"

She nodded, biting on her lip as his fingers manipulated her, like they had done so previously "You're not playing fair." she croaked out, before a loud groan came from her throat.

"It sounds like I am."

Her hands balled, and her legs flexed. She hated when he got like this, it was almost scary how far he would take her, how far he could push her before she realised that there was no contest, that she would always end up loosing to him. It was sad in some very, very perverse way, that she tried to hold off her pleasure, hoping that she would win the battle with his all too swift fingers, but she never did.

"Derek...work..." she managed to sigh.

"Yeah, I know, you've mentioned it quite a lot." his mouth went up into a small quirk "Are you suggesting we finish this there?"

"No." she vaguely felt him lift her leg, and place it on his thigh.

"Then why are you complaining?"

"Because...because..." she gasped loudly feeling him inside her "We shouldn't be doing this."

"Give me a good reason, and I'll let you go."

"Work."

He shook his head and thrust forward as if he was punishing her "Something else."

"Baby?"

He rolled his eyes, his words slightly delayed than previously "We wouldn't have done this so many times last night."

She groaned, her hand slapping the pillow in front of her.

He gave what was halfway between a smile and a grimace as he continued "Yeah I know."

Addison growled , her stomach already tingling with what she called "those feelings", and considering Derek's own noises behind her, he was not too far behind.

"Addie, your cell phone."

She opened her eyes, disorientated in her surroundings "Huh?"

"Its ringing. Don't you want to answer it?" his voice was mischievous, and she knew he wouldn't make this call any easier.

"It can wait."

He shook his head and reached forward to get it from her bedside table "Answer it, it might be an emergency."

She whimpered when she felt him roll his hips so that he had a deeper, slower stroke. It was enough for her to have some sort of sense when she was on what she hoped would be a quick and effortless conversation. Taking the cell with trembling hands she flipped it over and put it to her ear.

"Hello?" her voice was shaky, Derek still keeping a rhythm behind her.

"Hey! What took you so long? I thought I was going to talk to your voice mail."

"Sorry." she mumbled "I was...busy."

"Oh you're not still busy now are you?"

She bit her lip, and breathed deeply "Somewhat..." her eyes screwed shut as she felt Derek pick the pace up.

"Ok well this wont take long, I just wanted to know if you have lunch free?"

"Lunch?" she was finding it hard to concentrate.

"Yeah, the thing after breakfast but before dinner, I want to go scouting."

"Scouting?" she squeaked when she felt his hand on her breast, his finger toying with her nipple.

"Yeah, look at all the hot Italian waiters." her brows crossed "Did you just squeak?"

His tongue darted to lick at her earlobe "No!" she shook her head "I mean yes, its the baby, doing stuff." she could hear Derek chuckle behind her, spurring her on to concentrate, even if it killed her.

"I see. Well are you free for lunch or not?"

"Uh huh." she answered, replying to both Callie and Derek; who was now rubbing her skin with his hands.

"Good, because I have been having a craving for an italian all week."

She let a groan slip, hearing both Callie and Derek's laugh, both for different reasons.

"Relax Addison, we aren't there yet!"

She let out an uneasy chuckle, boy didn't she know it "Haven't had breakfast." she replied, despite what she was doing was strangely filling another hunger.

"Oh, crazy pregnant women stuff." Callie sighed "I want one."

"Breakfast?"

"No baby." she stroked her stomach lovingly "Its not fair."

"No it isn't." she heartily agreed, catching herself on another gasp as Derek upped his game.

"Yeah tell me..."

She cut Callie off, forcing her cell into a pillow so that she had the opportunity to groan loudly, mew, growl, anything she could before she would speak to her again. When she was finished she put the cell back to her ear.

"What was that?"

"What?"

"That loud groan."

"Oh. I stubbed my toe, damn trailer is getting too small." then she felt it, there it was ready to explode inside her, those myriad of emotions, hormones, chemicals and feelings ready to make her soar.

"Callie I got to go, Derek's finally free from the shower."

"Ok see you-"

Addison cut her cell off, slamming it down onto her dresser.

"Interesting conversation?"

She howled loudly unable to answer Derek.

Taking her hand in his, he laced their fingers and thrust, ready to explode with her. She fell apart in his arms soon after, screaming his name at the top of her voice, before she collapsed and swore quietly underneath her breath.

"Now..." Derek panted as he soothed a sobbing Addison; still riding her wave "Now you can go play doctors."

XXXXXX

"I cant be around Derek anymore."

"Why not? You both seem to be doing so well."

"We are, too well." she shivered in her seat, her legs crossing tightly.

"Is that a bad thing?"

She smiled "No, but its something to tell you, I don't really have much to say anymore."

"No complaints?"

"No." she shook her head smiling broadly "He's made me glow and I don't think I could love him anymore than that."

XXXXXX

"Addison?"

"Hmm?"

"Are you ok?"

She smiled "I'm great Derek" she yawned "I'm more than great thanks to you."

"Glad to here it, I hope you don't mind but I-" he took a breath "I rang Richard to tell him that we weren't coming in today."

"Good."

"Good?"

She nodded "Hmm I can't move anyways, my legs feel like jelly." she looked at him briefly, "You don't have surgeries today?" she asked, a little surprised.

"No." he said a little sadly, sighing as he brushed his thumb against her arm before kissing its dewy surface "I'm sorry if I made you feel like I had nothing but work before, I...I never meant to..."

She sniffed, wiping at her eyes before sobs racked her body. He pulled her closer, just holding her until she laced her fingers with his, and continued crying.

* * *

So there's only two chapters to go before I disappear into the night and call upon my brothers and sisters.

Im kidding, I dont have any brothers.

Review!  
Review!  
Review!


	7. Chapter 7

Thanks for the reviews! They are very much apreciated!

Sorry for updating so late, I could have sworn it was only two days ago that i last did it, but its been four?...Interesting.

I don't own greys.

* * *

She blinked slowly, her brain going through the same processes it did every morning. First she registered the sounds, birds cheeping, her husbands deep breathing and then her own. Her skin came alive next, and she got that normal heavy feeling of her son still growing inside her before feeling the nakedness of her skin against the sheets, her husband's chest nestled against her back and his arm wrapped around her swelling waist. Frowning, she felt something new, something that probably ever happened when they had been overly intimate.

She wiggled her hips, gasped, then wiggled again.

He'd fallen asleep inside her. Technically they were still having sex.

Technically.

Rubbing at her eyes, she twisted to look at him, his slightly open mouth and his ruffled hair.

"Derek?"

No response.

"Derek!!"

He groaned then blinked a couple of times "What is it? Are you ok?" he frowned, then shifted slightly before looking underneath the bedsheets "Well that's new."

"Yeah." she ran a hand through her hair, "But we need to go to work." she smiled apologetically at him "We'll do something later." she lay waiting for him to pull out of her, and getting out of bed when he had done so. "Thanks." she yawned, stretching as she worked the kinks out of her body looking down at Derek who seemed to be appreciating her naked form.

"You're pretty."

She smiled at him "Stop looking at me like that, we didn't get to work last time." she cupped her hands to her breasts, attempting to shield them from him, then walked out the room, her hands going to her bottom in another poor attempt to deter him.

Rolling his eyes, he got out of bed as equally as naked as Addison had been and went to the kitchen, listening as the shower started "Anything you want for breakfast?"

"What?"

He walked over to the shower door and slid it slightly open so he could get a look, despite it being unnecessary "I said anything you want for breakfast?" he looked her over hungrily.

"Derek the shower doesn't hold three." she waved a soapy hand at him "Breakfast, omelette, now."

"Can I at least have a kiss first?"

She looked at him considerably then leaned forward and pecked him quickly "Now go, baby and I are getting hungry."

XXXXXX

"Things have been going great between me and Addison." he reclined in the chair, clearly a relaxed man "She's like a changed woman...no wait she's always been the same, I guess it would be me whose changed." he raised his brows "Huh."

"Huh?"

"Nothing, its just when I put it like that, a lot more makes sense."

"Really? Care to explain?"

"Well, its just in the beginning, when we started to become distant, I always put it down to work, that we were both really busy, but it was me, those extra surgeries, the need to be great, its like I was competing with her because she'd always been that way, been that great, better at her job than I was." he scratched at his nose then combed his hair with his fingers "In some sad way, I ruined her, I led her to have an affair." he looked up at his counsellor "Have I been intentionally wrecking this woman all along?"

"Mr Shepard, this is no one's fault, yes there were things in your marriage with Addison that were somewhat building up to the affairs, but this could have happened to anyone, it just happened to be with you and Addison." she sat forward "Its only natural to feel guilty because you were a main part in that, but so was she, marriage isn't just between one person."

"But I-" he sighed "I still loved Meredith when I was with her, when she told me she was pregnant, I still loved her, I still loved Meredith."

"And now?"

He smiled sadly "I changed, just like I did before to get us into this mess."

XXXXXX

"So?"

"Yeah?"

She smiled "You go first."

"Well..." he looked around then pulled her close, kissing her before he moved back slightly and spoke against her lips "I was thinking, me and you and the baby should do something."

"Like?"

"Look at houses." he kissed her then pulled back again to start the routine "I know for a fact that pregnant women don't like concentrated spaces, although the horny ones..."

A slight tint came to her cheeks "You're a funny man." it was her turn to look around briefly then kiss him "But you're right, it would be nice to have a bigger space for me to waddle around in." she looked thoughtful "Jamie to crawl around in."

He looked down at her stomach "Girl Jamie or boy Jamie?"

She smiled evilly "You have a fifty, fifty chance of figuring out." she kissed him "You told me you didn't want to know." she said pulling away and fanning at her face.

"I don't think that's right, seeing as I put the baby up there."

She looked at him "Seriously? You're complaining that you put a baby in me when I have to squeeze it out? Do you even know the chances of vaginal tearing?"

He shuddered "Forget I said anything."

She tutted, shaking her head "I'll see you at lunch." she bit her lip thinking thoughtfully, "Bring me something greasy"

XXXXXX

"I made her cry, by accident, you don't think that was just hormones do you?"

"What did you say to start her crying?"

"I apologised, I said I was sorry for making work more of a commitment than her, and then she started crying."

"You apologised?" she bit down on her pen "Hmm, maybe its just a shock that you did so. When did you say you were sorry?"

"We had just finished..." he made a motion with his hands "You know..."

"I see." she wrote something down, looking back up when she had finished "Well it was probably just a healthy release, I mean..." she sat up straighter "Has Addison ever once cried since you started coming to counselling? Or even when she told you about the baby? What happened then?"

"She hasn't, even when she told me she was pregnant we just sort of sat there and agreed to make it work for the baby, that we had to sort something out so our child wouldn't grow up in two different homes." he cleared his throat "Even then we just kinda was in our own worlds." he looked at the counsellor "What are you trying to say?"

"Well...have you both ever realised how attuned you are to each others feelings? Take for example the crying you just told me about, that only happened when you showed you were making a concious effort to mend your relationship with her, or even when she told you she was pregnant, you both reacted the same way."

Derek looked confused.

She sighed "Its like you both don't say what's really there, because there's no need to, you seem to have an understanding as to what the other person wants all the time." she took a breath "Almost like two sides of the same coin."

"So is there any point to us coming to these sessions?"

"Yes, because as you know, you're both too stubborn to say anything to the other."

XXXXXX

"What are you up to?"

"Making dinner I guess."

He picked up the empty cardboard box on the side of the counter "Instant macaroni?"

"Healthy and nutritious." she waved the wooden spoon to accentuate her point "And have you ever known me to really cook Derek?"

He shrugged "I guess not."

She sighed"I guess you will be wanting some?"

He shook his head "No I can hear the disappointment in your voice." he kissed her on the cheek and moved forward into the bedroom, stripping naked, then making his way to the shower "Just be careful you don't bite into the spoon, remember its not all macaroni."

She pouted at him.

"Too mean?"

She nodded "But you'll pay."

"We aren't going to have sex are we?"

"Maybe, I dunno, depends on how much macaroni I eat." she pointed the spoon at him "Consider yourself lucky."

"Always." he smiled before he disappeared into the shower.

"So I have been looking at houses." she turned off the stove, grabbing a thick kitchen towel and wrapping it around the hot handles of the pot, bringing it to the bedroom and setting it onto her bedside table so that she could get into the bed. Straddling her legs, she then covering them with the comforter and reached for the pot of macaroni so that she could rest it between her protected thighs.

"Yeah? Anything you liked?" he called back.

"I guess, I mean they would only be temporary since we would have to get some building work done on the land soon." she took a bite of her macaroni, flipping the laptop that she had left on Derek's pillow open.

"I'll get to work on looking at contractors in the morning."

"Find the one that Nancy had." she put the spoon back into the pot, "Hopefully they'll have a Seattle branch."

"Its on my to do list."

"And we'll have to get some baby shopping done soon." she rested her hand on her stomach, using her other hand to bring the wooden spoon to her mouth.

He came out the shower, towelling his hair dry "Well I have to know if I'm buying blue or pink."

She put the spoon down "You really want to know? I mean really, really?"

He bit his lip, then nodded.

"I'll tell you when you get dressed." she bit into her macaroni "And when I finish my food"

Rolling his eyes he began towelling himself dry, pulling on a pair of boxers when he was done.

"Could you get me the orange juice out the fridge as well? And here-" she thrust the pot towards him "Put that for tomorrow."

"Is this your revenge?"

"What?"

"Nevermind." he took the pot away from her, bringing it into their kitchen and putting it into a container for tomorrow, then getting a glass, he poured her a sizeable amount of orange juice, drinking some from the top. When everything had finally settled down, Addison scooted over to her side of the bed, letting Derek spoon her from behind, his hand resting on her stomach where he stroked the prominent mound lovingly.

"Ready to tell me?"

"Sure, just let me turn around first." she said sitting up an shifting her hips, then finally laying back down once more to face him.

"Finished yet? Or do you need the bathroom?"

Addison grinned "I'm sorry" she stroked his face "Are you ready now?"

"Yes."

"Ok, we are having a..." she took a breath "Boy, we're having a boy."

He grinned widely "I knew it."

"Not the whole us Shepard we make boys talk is it? Because your father seemed to make four girls."

"Technicalities." he yawned moving forward to kiss her "Thanks for telling me."

"Your welcome, its the least I could do seeing as you put him up there."

* * *

Pretty much a fluffy chapter before the finale.

Ooh and go and watch beyond belief: fact or fiction, I literally felt my heart jump in my mouth at the spookiest story!

Review!!!


	8. Chapter 8

Thanks for reviewing! they are always well recieved :)

But now, now we have come to the end.

I don't own greys.

* * *

"We have our joint session today" she dunked the spoon back into her smoothie, stirring the thick drink in her glass.

"Really?" he wiped his mouth on the back of his hand, putting his toothbrush in the holder.

"Yeah." she pouted her mouth in concentration, taking another spoonful of the pink liquid in her glass "We aren't going to go through with that whole separation thing like we suggested? Because I haven't been discussing it with her in sessions."

"Oh yeah? Well neither have I really."

She waved her spoon at him "How about that?"

"We're done with her right? She's nice and all but..."

"It's kinda over." Addison corrected herself "I mean with her, not with us-"

"I got your pregnancy ramblings Addison, calm down."

She sucked on her spoon, letting it plop from her mouth "I really hate when you put things down to my pregnancy, it doesn't make me feel as if I tricked you into bed."

"You're right, I'm sorry, but then again it makes me feel like I didn't do the same" he moved past her "Trick you into bed that is."

_Three months later_

"Where is she? I cant find her anywhere!"

"I dont know Derek, calm down."

"Callie, she said she was in labour!"

"Did you check the apartment?"

"Yeah I just came from there, and you just said she's not at the hospital so I don't know where she can..." he trailed off "I'll call you back." he clicked his phone shut turning left in his direction, then slamming his foot down on the pedal.

He got to the trailer, slamming the car door harder than he would have normally done before running the short distance to the door and yanking it open, hearing her groans loud and clear "Addison? Addison are you ok?"

"Derek?"she whined, a low growl coming from her throat, "Derek the baby's coming!"

He shrugged his coat onto the small table that they ate at rushing to her side quickly "Why Addison? Why come to the trailer?"

"Because you weren't home, don't argue with me!" she grabbed his hand, squeezing tightly, her teeth gritted as she forced a scream through. Throwing her head back against the pillows as her contraction subsided she relaxed, breathing deeply.

"We need to go to the hospital." he began pleading with her, despite having the nagging feeling that it was no use.

She shook her head adamantly "I can't." she began puffing her cheeks out, breathing in the pattern she was taught at her classes "The baby's coming now, not at the hospital, not at the house, but in the..." she sighed, lying back onto the pillows "Trailer." her head lolled to the side "Why me?"

"I need to call the hospital."

"And Callie."

"Dr Torres?"

"Yes! What did I say before?!" she let the wave of pain hit her, her face turning red as she tried to suppress her scream.

"Ok, ok Dr Torres it is."

XXXXXX

"We don't need therapy anymore."

"We are perfectly fine the way we are, we just seem to click."

"Yeah, click, even though we don't say what we should-"

"We can pretty much guess anyways."

They looked to each other, nodded and in unison "Yeah."

The counsellor's mouth quirked upwards into a smile "I see." she looked at her watch "Well we still have 58 minutes left, anything you want to say to each other?"

XXXXXX

"Ow Derek!!"

"I'm coming, just remember to breathe ok?"

She nodded, her cheeks puffing in and out as she clawed at the bedsheets.

He ran around, finding as many towels as possible until he met Addison with armfuls of the thick terry cloth, dropping it on the bed by her feet.

"Derek!" she reached her hand out for him just as he heard of the click of the kettle go off, signalling the hot water they needed. He looked back and forth between the two, a look of distress on his face.

"Just go" she sighed, flopping back onto the bed as she waited for her next contraction "Just remember to dilute it."

XXXXXX

"I think...I think I have something to say." Addison put her hand up, letting it drop back when Derek looked at her, his face a mixture of surprise and confusion.

"Ok, go ahead Addison."

"Well..." she turned to Derek, her hands enveloping his "I'm really glad we are us together, but I just...I have those thoughts, and I know I shouldn't but I do" she fell silent, realising the weight of her words "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that."

"No, Addison, remember this is an open space, there's no need to apologize."

"Especially when she shouldn't have to."

XXXXXX

"Derek, I'm sorry, I just want you to know I'm sorry."

"Why? Wh-what for?"

"I'm sorry that I said stupid stuff, and did stupid things, and that I didn't work hard at-" she began crying, gasping as a wave of pain hit her hard. When it had passed she barked at him "Your going to have to deliver."

"What?"

"The baby is coming and I need you to get down there."

"But I'm a-"

"Brain surgeon, yes I get that, but Derek that baby has to come out of me now!"

"Fine, what do I have to do?"

She gave him a look "You mean I have to deliver my own baby?" she rolled her eyes "Just catch him when he pops out ok?"

Nodding, he swallowed, rolled up his sleeves and positioned himself at Addison's open legs "Lets have our baby."

XXXXXX

"Derek?" Addison looked at him then back to the counsellor "Derek please say something."

He sighed "I don't know what Addison, I'm just...I'm just confused with everything."

"Care to explain to us Derek?"

Addison looked back and forth between the two, her eyes finally resting on her husbands face

He sat up and turned to Addison "I think we should do this."

"What? Do what Derek? I don't understand."

"I think we should take some time off, I think I need for you to see that you can trust me, that apart we can what we want us to be again." he took her hands and kissed them "We need the time off."

"But-"

"No Addison." he rubbed his thumb along her cheek smiling sadly "It wont be that long, and I'll be by your side when you need me, but-" he caught her eye "We should do this."

XXXXXX

"I can't, I just cant do this anymore!" she panted, her chest heaving up and down as she flopped backwards onto the matted pillows.

"Addison he's there, he's almost there, you just need to keep going." he kissed the side of her knee "Please, just a couple more pushes ok? That's all just a couple more."

"Derek, I cant!"

"You have to Addie."

She sighed, her hand wiping away the sweaty strands of hair against her forehead. Gritting her teeth, she reached for her thighs and grunted, pushing for all she had.

"Good that's good, keep going."

She took another breath, screaming as she forced herself even harder.

Crying filled the room as Derek held up a small pink body, his eyes watering as he walked to Addison's side soothing the new life in his hands. She was laughing, her arms outstretched as she accepted their baby from Derek.

XXXXXX

They sat apart, her hands in her lap, his folded across his chest. They were smiling, but somewhat sadly, almost scared because of what they were going to to.

"So what are we going to be looking at? Addison?"

She cleared her throat "I'm going to spend time by myself, see whether or not I need Derek, apart from the classes we have together, and-" she took another breath "Take things slowly, just figure out what I want when I get it."

"Good, and Derek?"

"Think, go to lamaze classes with Addison and figure out what I can do to solve our insecurities without using sorry as a first resort-" he sighed "See if I can be without Addison." he gave her a regretful smile, and she rubbed his thigh comfortingly.

"So this is it, we're breaking up."

He nodded "We are."

XXXXXX

"Do you think he looks more like a Jamie or a Peyton?" she looked up at Derek bouncing the baby gently to keep him quiet.

"Adam?"

She shook her head "We'll just keep him baby Shepard for now I guess."

"Yeah" he agreed, to preoccupied with the little fist curled around his forefinger. He waggled it, watching the little hand grip tighter.

"He has your eyes, they aren't as dark as mine." she looked over the little baby in her arms "In fact he's more Derek than Addison."

"Really?"

She nodded, continuing to gently bounce the tiny person in her arms.

They fell silent, just watching their baby watch them.

"So," he cleared this throat "Are we...you know...ok again or is this still part of the separation process?"

"I dunno you tell me." she said, never taking her eyes off the baby

"I don't want it to be."

Siren's wailed outside and they averted their attention to them quickly.

"Ambulance is here." she said softly meeting his eyes, before he went to go and greet them.

* * *

There it is. All done dusted.

Now, here it is for the last chance to review, complain, propose, bargain, but most importantly:

Review!


End file.
